Issues

I’ve been gaining weight lately and it’s disturbing to me. I know men are not supposed worry about things like this or they’re not supposed to admit they’re worried about things like this. But I guess that’s what writing inevitably does. It makes you admit the things that you’re doing your best to hide away from people.

Also I blame the fact that I’m an English teacher. We’re sensitive people, us English teachers. We read and write way too much. Or we force other people to read and write way too much and then stress about the fact that we’re not making ourselves do the same, which is usually my case.

I’m actually not allowed to be worried about a thing like eating too. Because I know there’s people out there that have weight problems that supercede my own which makes them scowl at me if I ever imply that I’m stressing about a thing like that. As though I’m implying that they should be stressing about a thing like that. But I’m not. This is purely self-evaluation. The fact that my stomach is beginning to bulge over my pants is no reflection on any one else.


I took my students on a field trip yesterday where I dared myself to climb a rock climbing wall. This didn’t start out well. If only I could accomplish things the way I’m envisioning them in my mind. Now my muscles are screaming with every little movement that this is all my fault. But this is not fair. We’re all in this together. It’s a team effort. It’s not like my muscles can just turn on me and say that I’m the one that’s keeping them from exercise. My muscles are completely willing participants in the not exercising. Explaining this to them has quieted somewhat. They’ve now resorted to a dull whimper.