Prison of the Mind

Spring break this week. No. I’m not going any where: Che Che’s still working and we’re broke. A full week. I’m trying to register the time for myself the same way I do when I’m teaching. I'm having trouble turning the teacher survivalist mode. I've taught the last two and a half years the same way a prisoner in a dungeon would notch out days and hours in his cell. He uses a large rock to keep track out how much time he’s got left; I use a planner from Walmart. Monday will be day 40, 10 weeks till the summer. 48 school days. Don't mention summer school. As Napoleon said, "We'll burn that bridge when we get there."

I know this is not healthy. You’re not supposed to count things. I know this but I do it any way which is sad. Get up in the morning and drink water and count the gulps I’m taking from a water bottle. Count the number of days I’ve got left in the week. Once I’m done, I’ll do it again. Psychiatrists say that means you’re probably depressed. Or like talking or writing about yourself in the 2nd person.

But no! No need. I’ve got spring break this week. I’m free. I’m just having a hard time convincing my brain and body to do something other than what my routine has been for the last 7 months. I’m writing this blog. A little out of the ordinary.

This is the reason for vacations, I guess. It takes a little time for the neuroticism to wear off. I have to actually logically think and plan out deliberate things that are out of the ordinary. Out of my pattern that I had built for myself. Get home from work. Dump the trash. Walk the dog. Water the lawn. Give the dog his medication. Feed the dog. Watch the O’Reilly Factor for entertainment and a little bit of knowledge about the world. Freedom is in the mind. And it helps if you’re not physically locked in chains because I bet the visual contradiction would be a bit confusing.

I just had a bean burrito from Taco Bell. Sounds like prison food to some of you, but this is actually high up on my list of things I would actually choose to eat more than anything else on earth. Sad, I know. Now, I will go read a book. Slowly easing into the recreational mode. I’m hoping to be sky diving by Friday. Or walking my dog all the way to the park and back. Something crazy like that.