Apologies

So I found out yesterday that my job is safe. For now, I guess I would say. From what I’ve been hearing things are bad all over the state. Money’s drying up everywhere. Nobody’s wanting to lend to us any more and Californians have resoundingly voted “no” on raising their own taxes. As Margaret Thatcher once said, “This is the problem with socialism. Sooner or later, you run out of other people’s money.”

But it feels good to be safe for now. Thank you Lord. Our cups constantly run over.

I want to sincerely apologize for the “jumping out of a one-story window” crack from my previous entry. It was a pathetic attempt to be funny, but it was wrong. I thought about it later when I found out a former student of mine ended his life this week.

It floored me to find this out. This student was one of the brightest, most determined young men I’ve ever come across. He had joined the Marine Corps and he showed so much promise. His mother worked at the school and I would constantly tell her what an incredible kid she had raised.

I just feel a deep sadness. It's hard to put this into words.

Losing My Job

Trusting God was a lot easier when I was just talking about it. I recently found out that I am not going to have a teaching job after June which is not nearly as depressing as the idea that I won’t have a paycheck either. And my house has only one floor. Throwing myself out of the window would only just land me safely on the lawn. Way too anticlimactic.

Awkward Moments

I’m awake. And it’s almost 11:32 p.m. I’ve been up since five this morning. Somewhere my body skipped over getting tired and now bedtime is a little confusing.

We saw Kuya Rozel off tonight. I know I’m gonna’ miss him. He left us with an oil-tanker-sized Tequila bottle because it was weighing down his luggage to the point that they wouldn’t let him take it on the plane. I got to hold the bottle which ever so slightly eased the pain of seeing him off. Although this latest visit of his has definitely made me realize that we both drink too much. Our stomachs are starting to get that early pregnancy look to them. The dream of always being able to describe my ideal pizza as standing on the crust like the edge of a pool and diving into cheese that I’m able to swim across is beginning to darken.

Yesterday, at church, the service was drawing to an end and people were standing up to share about awkward moments that they’d had with church and other issues they’d been going through. Everything was so quiet around us and as one woman was speaking in a very low tone, Kuya Rozel’s phone started blaring a hard rock Filipino song over its MP3 player. He kept trying to turn it off but the buttons he was frantically pushing were just making it blast louder prompting Kuya to whisper a very loud and audible “Shit!” across the room. Instant classic.

We'll miss ya man. Love ya. Godspeed.